So I moved this past weekend, and it was glorious and enough to see a chiropractor at the same time. Big Thanks go to Ryan, Luke, Chris for their gallant effort and making my move happen. The 2 bedroom apartment isn’t much but compared to the 12×12 room I’ve been calling home for the past 1.5 years this is a mansion. Packing up my life wasn’t too bad but journeying into the basement was like revisiting the past that was on pause. In the basement was where all of the last minute boxes were packed.

Let me give you some history.

In August of 2005 Ryan got married, in July of the same year we were finalizing our plans with our landlord of vacating the 5 bedroom estate when we had the option to leave early because there was a family moving into town that needed something with a million bedrooms and our place would work, but it meant that I had to put everything in order and move out in about a week and a half. At the same time a recent check of my finances revealed that I was broker than broke. Why, you ask? I nearly bankrupted myself on a business decision that resulted in me owing thousands of dollars. It was not my finest moment but on the flip side it has taught me a ton about getting in over my head and biting off more than I can chew. So my best option in a bad scenario was to rent a room at my parents. Believe me, no one was more acutely aware of how not cool this was more than me. Not only hadI moved out at 18 and not come back but I was the guy who made fun of many late 20’s guys living with their parents (the story usually involved a paper route, comic books and world of warcraft involved somewhere). This was a total pride killer but back to the move.

Revisiting my parents basement to find all the boxes from the move 1.5 ago was wild. I was instantly brought back to the status of my life at that time with boxes packed in anger. Anger at the situation I brought on myself, saddened that Ryan (my wingman) wasn’t going to be as available as before, and angry because I couldn’t see the end of the long road I had to travel to make things right.

While the move was happening on Saturday, Ryan and I revisited our last day at the old house and I told him what I was dealing with (probably for the first time). The last day was horrible because the worst fight we’ve ever had happened then. I threatened to not be in the wedding because of all the attitude I was getting but the truth is I wasn’t dealing with the issue. Kelly refers to that time as “The Great Divorce” which is funny but true. I think it’s crucial to stretch yourself (whether in a business deal or in emotional aptitude) and I’ve learned so much from the past year and a half that I would probably do the same thing all over again if given the choice.

The highlights of the move to the new place begins and ends with a couch. I was able to procure a 8 ft couch that’s about 3 feet wide. We loaded it at the old place and off to the new when the realization was that this couch just may not fit. With a fair amount of resolve and with a decent understanding of physics we decide to give it a try anyway. When we arrived at the new apt. it became very real that the 3.5ft wide couch had to fit through an area of about 18-24 inches. Were we afraid? No. Did we know what we were doing? Let’s just say that we faked it very well and managed to jam the couch so that it was suspended in the air while lodged in between 2 doorframes. In between laughing like women and hammering on that couch so much we thought it would snap we came to the realization that the couch had to get snapped in half and would be a total loss or I would have to learn some crazy ninja like skills in order to enter my new home. The couch must’ve known the lengths we were willing to make this a reality because she bent. With two guys on each end of the behemoth, hammering away looking to do some damage we must have ripped a hole in the space time continuum because the couch flexed enough to fit through the doors.

It only took one trip to Lowe’s to fix all the damage we incurred but totally worth it. The next several weeks will be filled by some long overdue entertaining and the “official” home of the Portnoy Media Group. If you’re in my neighborhood, give a yell, I’ll put the kettle on.