Originally posted 7/1/2004

I’d like to think of my self as a person in control… some may say that I am a controller. In response i’d say it’s possible but I think to manage things and lead people .. It’s where I feel most comfortable

What I am about to tell you is horrible… so horrible in fact that I felt that I should animate it.

It saves on typing and allows me to hold on to the last shred of dignity that I have left.

This post may not be suitable for children…. Parental discretion is advised!

Tonight on a very special Dan Portnoy.com post…..

Yes… This happened to me.. I had asked God to kill my pride, I think this ridiculous and funny all at the same time.

When we arrived at me house, 5 minutes away, I was trying to figure out a way that I could not be totally emasculated and still make it to the house. There was no way, I had to come “clean” with Kristie. I told her that this very moment was the most embarrassing moment and that as soon as 4 hours this would be a great story. I asked her to go into my house and wait in the basement until I came in the house. Unfortunately my brother (Ryan) was wondering what was going on. I told him and he laughed hysterically and he got the best/worst view of me hobbling to the house, my pants filled with pudding.

I thought that by sharing this pain and embarrassment this would diffuse most of the ridicule that I would recieve. Feel free to comment or ask Kristie, Ryan or Sam about it.

In retrospect (24 hours) I think if Kristie was not one of the most attractive people I know it wouldn’t have been so bad. But alas, she is, and I’m a shlemiel.